Yes! I did it. I invented something to replace fishing. It’s relaxing, rewarding, and undeniably planet-friendly. Welcome to Earthing, your new favorite activity.
Reeling You In
With fishing, anglers say they enjoy the outdoors, the sunshine, and the tranquility.
Does the alternative Earthing stack up? Yes, yes, and yes.
You’ll stroll along the water’s edge, wielding a stick, and keeping watch for an opportunity to snag a whopper. No measuring necessary. When we’re Earthing, everything we pull out is a whopper.
We’re aiming our trusty sticks at empty pretzel packages. Wayward grocery bags. Glistening candy wrappers. And assorted UFOs — unidentified floating objects — lots of them made of plastic.
If it doesn’t belong in the water, Earthing enthusiasts nab it.
You’ll Be Hooked
For those who enjoy the sportier side of an activity, Earthing accommodates. You’ll rely on your wits, your resourcefulness, your dexterity, and your prowess.
Sometimes snaring a piece of debris is a snap. Other times, it requires extra finesse. For example, your “catch” is balanced on your stick as you delicately navigate it toward the bank, but a breeze blows it right back out — farther from reach. Or you need to wrangle it from a tangle of aquatic plants. Or your stick snaps.
With practice, you’ll perfect assorted techniques for plucking your prize. Poke and pull. Spaghetti-style twirl. The underneath scoop.
Earthing is free. No hooks, lures, or expensive gear required. All you need is a stick, picked up along the way or recycled from a previous Earthing excursion, and you’re ready to savor the rush of landing a wet, drippy, and sometimes slimy object.
It’s delightfully cruelty-free, which is ideal for folks like me who prefer our finned friends not be yanked from their homes with a hook ripping into their mouths. With Earthing, fish flit freely beneath the surface as you tidy up around them.
Whatever pollutant you retrieve during your expedition, relish the sense of pride as you toss that sucker in the trash (or the recycling, if it’s recyclable). But first, snap a photo. You earned it.
Do you savor the sense of accomplishment of leaving the planet a bit cleaner? Do you like the idea but prefer something more strenuous, a chance to work up a sweat? Try plogging!
This article was originally published on May 9, 2018.